Tag Archives: Courage

Flourish in your Weirdness

25 Apr

2ineedaguide.blogspot.com:

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After of series of Youtube videos, I had a bit of an epiphany.

Flourish in your Weirdness.

This Weirdness

This Weirdness

This Weirdness

I realize that many people we look up to are people that are paving paths, opening doors, going into places that we haven’t explored yet, letting us know that it is safe to be there.

That it is safe to express yourself in this way, and to explore these realms.

Having an example of someone who has gone before you, gives you the confidence of what is possible.

For example I have a friend who just got a job as a manager for a retreat centre in Indonesia. BAM! Imagination exploded, that’s something I could do! I also just met a co-worker who rode on a bike 8 hours a day for 90 days across southern parts of United States to promote affordable housing. BAM! Another inserted possibility.

These are examples of doing your weirdness. Which is great, and sometimes overwhelming to know all of the possibilities that are out there. Remember, it’s not the choice that makes that option the best, it’s the effort you put into making it the best option that makes the choice a good one.

But I want to speak more about being your weirdness.

I realize that the more that I accept my weirdness, and step into my authentic self. The more I allow others to do the same.

The more that I stay within myself, and hide my thoughts, feelings, desires from people the more I am encouraging others to do the same. It is as if by hiding myself I am articulating to others, “Don’t show yourself, don’t live an authentic life, it is scary to be real, it is unsafe, you are going to get hurt, people aren’t going to understand, and you will be lonely.”

Being an outsider without a community is one of the hardest things people face. So of course it would be a huge obstacles to jump over when wanting to truly show up. This dirty little fear monster whispers in your ear, “The thoughts you have, the person you are, will not be accepted by others. If they really knew who you were, you would never be understood, and you will be lonely.”

But you know what the funny thing is.

So many people have these same fears. And are probably thinking the same weird outlandish thoughts that you do, they just haven’t had the time to reflect or have cultivated the courage to articulate it yet.

And maybe once you start showing up, the crowd you are running with doesn’t fully understand, maybe you will have numerous conversations about different subjects that expand your mind and the minds of those around you. Maybe you realize, the thoughts and actions you have aren’t benefiting you, or bringing you in the direction of your desires, so they must be evaluated and revised.

And that’s ok. Its ok to change, to disagree, to figure out what works and doesn’t work for you and those around you. I just heard a great podcast about two people who were on different sides of the spectrum for gay marriage, and how their thoughts evolved when they became friends.

It can be hard for others too because once you start showing up, this encourages them to do the same and maybe they aren’t ready for that. There are still fears that are holding them back from being fully themselves. So remember to be gentle, to yourself and others.

Accept the process of the unfolding.

Become comfortable with uncertainty and exploration.

Another option is maybe others don’t understand your new way of thinking, and they aren’t interested in understanding. This will be hard.

But the good news is. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE WHO GETS IT.

Trust.

And the only way for you to find out is to have the courage to be seen.

To step out and say, this is me, what about you? Standing up for a belief that you would rather be loved for who you are, than loved by people who only love an imagine you portray. Allowing tenderness towards our weakness and vulnerabilities so that we may expand our compassionate hearts.

You might end up like this for a little bit, but that’s ok. It’s all part of the process.

huckabees

Even as I write this, I have a voice that says, no, you can’t write that. You can’t reveal those thoughts to people. They are going to think you are crazy, unstable, and will grow up to have lots of cats with a house that smells like kitty litter when you walk into the door. But still I write because I know the doors it will open.

Writing helps me better understand myself, and shares a perspective to others who might be dealing with similar situations. I realize I don’t have all the answers, but I am dedicated to the exploration. And maybe a small part of my discovery helps you to have a discovery too! (which of course you must share with me after)

I know authenticity and vulnerability are huge topics and I would love to learn more about how people approach these subjects in their own lives.

How do you show up and be seen?

How do you stop hiding behind walls of perfection and be confident and grounded in the soul that resides within you?

Keep shining super stars, and spread the joy!

Marriage and Careers: Defining the Difference between Choice and Action.

14 Feb

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I have been struggling for a long time with the question of how I will choose the right partner and or the right career.

Who will I marry? What future will I have? What career will I choose. Thinking that if I choose right, then I would have a happy life, but if I choose wrong, then my life will be horrible, and that put a lot of pressure on me to make the perfect choice.

However, there will never be a time where I do one thing, where I make one accomplishment and then the rest of my life will be happy from that moment on.

There will be many accomplishments in my life, there will be many mountains that I will climb, and new perspectives that will be revealed.

I got caught up in the fear of failure. Thinking that if I set out to accomplish something, and I don’t, this will show the weaknesses within myself. This will show that I am not disciplined, I don’t work hard enough, I am not enough. Thus, it was safer to not try, never fail, and continue thinking I will be something great… someday.

I got caught up in making the perfect choice, as if it was a choice that created the success and not the action I put into pursing that goal. When things started to get hard, I thought “This must not be the right thing for me, because I was succeeding and now I am not. I must have made the wrong choice.”

In order to be good at something, you have to accept that you will have stages of greatness and failure, acknowledge them both as great teachers. 

There is no way that I  can KNOW if I am making the right choice with marriage or a career. But there is a way to MAKE it the right choice. There is not ONE person for me, there is not ONE career for me.

I can make it work by choosing to have faith, to stay curious, to be resilient, be honest to myself and others, and be compassionate in all aspects of my life.

I look to live each day with gratitude that I am a perfectly flawed Monique, that I will continue to learn, grow, and love. That these three things will never end.

I allow myself to let go of thinking “once I have this, once I accomplish that, once I am with this person, then and only then will I be happy.”

I allow myself to take in the joy that is ever present in my daily life, to connect to the greatness that I am surrounded by.

I have confidence in the path that I am following, the path of wellness, community building, and planning events that create shared experiences. I aspire to live a life that enables myself and those around to know they deserve to be loved and to love.

“Simplicity is the ultimate expression of sophistication” Da Vinci