Archive | April, 2015

Flourish in your Weirdness

25 Apr

2ineedaguide.blogspot.com:

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After of series of Youtube videos, I had a bit of an epiphany.

Flourish in your Weirdness.

This Weirdness

This Weirdness

This Weirdness

I realize that many people we look up to are people that are paving paths, opening doors, going into places that we haven’t explored yet, letting us know that it is safe to be there.

That it is safe to express yourself in this way, and to explore these realms.

Having an example of someone who has gone before you, gives you the confidence of what is possible.

For example I have a friend who just got a job as a manager for a retreat centre in Indonesia. BAM! Imagination exploded, that’s something I could do! I also just met a co-worker who rode on a bike 8 hours a day for 90 days across southern parts of United States to promote affordable housing. BAM! Another inserted possibility.

These are examples of doing your weirdness. Which is great, and sometimes overwhelming to know all of the possibilities that are out there. Remember, it’s not the choice that makes that option the best, it’s the effort you put into making it the best option that makes the choice a good one.

But I want to speak more about being your weirdness.

I realize that the more that I accept my weirdness, and step into my authentic self. The more I allow others to do the same.

The more that I stay within myself, and hide my thoughts, feelings, desires from people the more I am encouraging others to do the same. It is as if by hiding myself I am articulating to others, “Don’t show yourself, don’t live an authentic life, it is scary to be real, it is unsafe, you are going to get hurt, people aren’t going to understand, and you will be lonely.”

Being an outsider without a community is one of the hardest things people face. So of course it would be a huge obstacles to jump over when wanting to truly show up. This dirty little fear monster whispers in your ear, “The thoughts you have, the person you are, will not be accepted by others. If they really knew who you were, you would never be understood, and you will be lonely.”

But you know what the funny thing is.

So many people have these same fears. And are probably thinking the same weird outlandish thoughts that you do, they just haven’t had the time to reflect or have cultivated the courage to articulate it yet.

And maybe once you start showing up, the crowd you are running with doesn’t fully understand, maybe you will have numerous conversations about different subjects that expand your mind and the minds of those around you. Maybe you realize, the thoughts and actions you have aren’t benefiting you, or bringing you in the direction of your desires, so they must be evaluated and revised.

And that’s ok. Its ok to change, to disagree, to figure out what works and doesn’t work for you and those around you. I just heard a great podcast about two people who were on different sides of the spectrum for gay marriage, and how their thoughts evolved when they became friends.

It can be hard for others too because once you start showing up, this encourages them to do the same and maybe they aren’t ready for that. There are still fears that are holding them back from being fully themselves. So remember to be gentle, to yourself and others.

Accept the process of the unfolding.

Become comfortable with uncertainty and exploration.

Another option is maybe others don’t understand your new way of thinking, and they aren’t interested in understanding. This will be hard.

But the good news is. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE WHO GETS IT.

Trust.

And the only way for you to find out is to have the courage to be seen.

To step out and say, this is me, what about you? Standing up for a belief that you would rather be loved for who you are, than loved by people who only love an imagine you portray. Allowing tenderness towards our weakness and vulnerabilities so that we may expand our compassionate hearts.

You might end up like this for a little bit, but that’s ok. It’s all part of the process.

huckabees

Even as I write this, I have a voice that says, no, you can’t write that. You can’t reveal those thoughts to people. They are going to think you are crazy, unstable, and will grow up to have lots of cats with a house that smells like kitty litter when you walk into the door. But still I write because I know the doors it will open.

Writing helps me better understand myself, and shares a perspective to others who might be dealing with similar situations. I realize I don’t have all the answers, but I am dedicated to the exploration. And maybe a small part of my discovery helps you to have a discovery too! (which of course you must share with me after)

I know authenticity and vulnerability are huge topics and I would love to learn more about how people approach these subjects in their own lives.

How do you show up and be seen?

How do you stop hiding behind walls of perfection and be confident and grounded in the soul that resides within you?

Keep shining super stars, and spread the joy!

Power of Beliefs

21 Apr

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The majority of our lives are based off of the beliefs we have.

I have to thank Ruth Lera who inspired this thought: Our external world is merely a representation of our internal world. The external world impacts our internal world, and our internal world retracts to creates our external world. This dance that is played is one we can take ownership over. How we react, how we think, how we engage in our lives, where we direct our attention, becoming responsible for the imports and exports of our being.

For example, in April I sent in a resume and cover letter to an organization I was interested in working for. As time went by I saw the posting for an Assistant Manger position. Once I read through the position I thought, I can’t do that, I’m not going to apply for that job, I’m going to wait until the next position comes up.

But I emailed the Executive Director anyway to ask if she had received my resume, and if there were any interviews coming up. She said yes and that she wanted to bring me in for an interview. Long story short, I got the job! And it is one of those dream jobs where my passion connects to my work, and I have a good salary!

If I had stuck with my original belief, I would have never applied to the job and the following situation would have happened:

Belief: I can’t do that

Action: I won’t apply or put effort to move in that direction

Outcome: I didn’t get the position, and will continue looking for jobs where I believe I have the skills. Being unsatisfied with the position I get because I didn’t really try.

Can you see how our beliefs create our realities? We will only start to achieve what we believe is possible, and then sometimes life surprises us when the impossible happens. =) 

And of course, this doesn’t mean that once you believe you will achieve, but it does mean that once we start believing in our self worth, in the direction of our desires, we start moving in that direction and doors will open when the time is right. Intention, Intention, Intention. Allow yourself commitment, compassion, patience and joy for your journey. These will be great allies of yours.

Thus, start to notice your beliefs. Start to question them to see if they support the lifestyle you want.

Sometimes it is scary to challenge our beliefs because than we go into the realm of uncertainty, to realm of making possible mistakes. Explore your thoughts and continue to evolve as you find better beliefs to support your emerging realities. What beliefs supported you to getting to this point, might not be helping you to move into your next chapter.

We must thank them for what they have given us, and allow them to move on to create space for better possibilities. Also your belief system has been engrained over years of habits, so they might be difficult to undue, but TRUST you’ll never look back and think, “Man, I wish I stuck with those negative thought patterns, I’m so glad I never put effort into improving myself.” Imagine what freedom feels like, and recognize this is where your energy is directed towards. You can achieve this!

Our beliefs aren’t meant to harm us, often times they are there to keep us safe and secure, thus when challenging them we might feel a sense of lack of safety and security until we find a belief that supports a more whole, happy, and healthy us. We may be wondering– am I doing this right? Is this the right belief I should have? But time will tell.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself. Do I feel better about my situation? Am I proud of the life I am living? Am I moving towards a direction I am pleased with? Do I find myself enjoying life more? Am I able to open up and love more freely, to myself and others?  Am I choosing thoughts, actions, activities, friends, food, that nourish a happy, whole, and healthy me?

Beliefs impact so many different aspects of our lives, thus, get curious and creative with the questions you ask yourself, opening yourself up to a whole world of answers and solutions!  Explore what resonates with you, play in your imagination to see the realm of possibilities.

See if you can find a buddy, a support group, a community (an online community) anything to help you with this process. There are many out there who are feeling these same things, pursuing these same expeditions. You are never alone. Find the others, and connect to the beautiful support that only a community can give you. 

The changing of old unsupportive thoughts for new thoughts always takes effort, but it is one of the most important gifts we can give ourselves.

I relate this process to someone who eats McDonalds everyday. Explaining to this person, if they shifted their eating habits to things that are healthier, the rest of their life would be so much easier. But the person will complain, but that is so hard, it takes so much effort to buy groceries, to plan meals, to learn about healthy foods. That’s too hard for me, I am going to keep with McDonalds, it tastes good, it’s easy, and I know where all of the locations are.

Yes, it might take effort in the beginning to shift beliefs, but if you take baby steps towards a life you find more fulfillment in, it will become easier. It may be hard at the beginning to decide at the grocery store what to buy and what recipes to make, but soon this becomes second nature. It just takes time, commitment, compassion, joy and patience. 

Thus, allow the thought  “it’s too hard” to switch to–> I can do this! What small steps can I take to move in this direction? What direction do I want my habits, thoughts, and words to be? What small things could I do to make my life more enjoyable? If I believed I had thoughts that supported me, what would that look like? What beliefs aren’t serving me right now? What beliefs could I let go of in order to have space for more wholesome thoughts? Over time you will become instantly aware of thoughts that aren’t supportive and can become a master at reframing beliefs. Like a funky recycling center, old used up waste come in, and BEEP BEEP BOOP, you change them into shiny new pieces of art work. 

And by taking care of yourself, by exercising and eating healthy, it’s going to make the other things in your life easier– not harder– in the beginning– yes there will be more effort– but I can’t stress it enough- it will be worth it.

Now get out there, become in tune with yourself (yoga, running, qigong, meditation, journaling, voice memos), become curious about how you can practice supportive beliefs (journaling, mindfulness), find a supportive community, and feel the love and support that is all around us. 

I would love to hear your comments below about how you interact with your beliefs. Any articles or videos you have found helpful? Feel free to share!

Keep shining super stars so that your light may send sparks of joy into the world.

The Affects of Positive Thinking

1 Apr

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I have been thinking some great thoughts, and writing some great journals. But I haven’t been posting because I had this little thing called self-doubt creep in. I listened to a podcast a while back, and they had the best of intentions when they were talking about authenticity but it made me question myself.

On the podcast they were saying how people these days are being to authentic, being too vulnerable, and it comes across more so as a need for attention, rather than a courageous act of sharing. Which got me thinking.

Do I know what I am talking about? Is what I am writing about actually helpful? Am I being honest with myself? Am I doing this for attention or because I feel like what I have to share might help others who are in similar situations. There are so many other articles out there already, do I have any original ideas to contribute?

And after stopping at these thought obstacles for a while– I realized that indeed– these were thoughts. Thoughts are not facts, they are opinions, and can used to help or hinder. And this is exactly where I needed to start to transform my life from living to thriving.

Because of the wonders of meditation, I have allowed my mind to quiet down to a point where I can notice the varying levels of thoughts and question their place in my mind.

I often wake up with an overwhelming wave of anxious thoughts that demand me to answer Who, What, Where, When, and How Life questions. Berating me about what I am currently doing, and how I plan to get to where I want to go.

And I have allowed this to go on for far too long. Thinking that, this criticism is good, it is making me a better person, it is keeping me on track.

When really it is just cutting down my self-esteem, causing me to constantly be future thinking, and filled with anxiety and fear.

Now, I like to greet those critical thoughts with a good dose of self-compassion:

“Hey there thoughts, slow down, I really want to think thoughts that are supportive and encouraging because I love myself and I want to support my wellbeing. I realize how important it is to have positive thoughts because they affect my actions, and my words.

I know you are trying to look out for me, but it’s not working.

Let me be in joy, peace, and presence. Let me be positive light to those around me and myself. Let my thoughts show love and support. Allow me to let go of fear and stress and let in laughter and love. Allow me to show up in creativity, play, and authenticity. Now that we have that covered, let’s focus on these thoughts as they support a happy, whole, and healthy me. One step at a time.”

Sometimes I have to give myself a long speech, sometimes I only need to pause ask a short question like, “Wait, is this thought supporting me?”

And it doesn’t really matter how many times I have to divert my thoughts, just that I keep on going. Kind of like exercising, but you don’t get to the results of a six-pack. (But who really gets six packs anyways. People who know how to Photoshop, that’s who.)

Gandhi says it best:

Your beliefs become your thoughts,

Your thoughts become your words,

Your words become your actions,

Your actions become your habits,

Your habits become your values,

Your values become your destiny.

But I want to know about you!

What pep talk helps you to divert your critical thoughts when they get the best of you?

What thoughts do you want to guide your life?

What thoughts have become obstacles to stepping into a fuller life of joy, peace, and presence?

On my bathroom mirror I posted this quote:

I ground myself in that which resides in all things and in me. I put faith in the unfolding of the path, with each step I am given an opportunity to learn how I can listen, how I can love, how I can be in my authentic self, how I can open my heart to joy, peace, and presence.

Allow me space for light and laughter, so I may allow others to do the same. Grant me courage and wisdom to see experiences as opportunities to expand my capacity for love and gratitude for all that is.

Breath In Being

Breath Out Being

Stay calm so you may listen to your heart that leads you.

Hope this helps! Comment below to let me know what other things you do to keep your thoughts positive and supportive.

Keep on shining on!