The Showdown! Being vs. Doing

25 Apr


There was a stage in my life where I validated myself through doing.

I thought that I could create my value through accomplishment.

Working two jobs, going to school full time, planning/organizing events, president of the Social Justice Club, creating a recycling system for the three dorms of Thompson Rivers University, and planning a trip to Guatemala.

I was constantly on the go, constantly getting sick, constantly ignoring my body so that I could achieve recognition for everything I was doing. Saying yes so that people would appreciate me thinking that could fill this validation void I had.

Like a bucket with a hole, I didn’t understand why I didn’t feel whole. 

Then came the stage where I did nothing, where I was so burnt out that I said no to almost everything except school and work. However, that isolated me because I wasn’t part of a community, nor was I feeling passionate about life.

Along comes my study aboard in Italy. Sweeping me away all the expectations of things I thought I needed to do, the people I thought I needed to please, and the self induced stress of uncertain success.

Italy gave me the lesson of love and how to find pleasure in life.

I learned the art of creating moments of simplistic joy found on a park bench with a cup of gelato.

From there I learned how to go from loving what is in life, to loving myself.

I started focusing on who I was being while I was doing things in my life.

By focusing on being I could connect to what I needed in life, how I was interacting with people, and make what I was doing, meaningful.

I am now able to recognize when I am doing something for external validation.

I am proud to be able to find value in myself through knowing I being the person I am proud to be.

Questions on Being:

1. What do I need in my life to be healthy?

2. What does a healthy schedule look like for me? (This creates a foundation for your growth)

3. Who is someone I look up to? What impresses me about them?

4. What are personal characteristics that I am proud of? (You can write them down, make a vision board, or make a scrap book of things you love about yourself)

5. What do I want to improve? What small step can I take each day to improving one item on this list? (Remember to have patience, and compassion for yourself- loving who you are and who you are becoming)

6. How can I connect to gratitude, presence, and joy in myself and with others?


One Response to “The Showdown! Being vs. Doing”


  1. Reflection and Renewal based in Self Compassion. | Accidentally Witty - January 26, 2015

    […] confidence, compassion, humour, and presence. Similar to a blog I previously wrote about the divide between who I was being and what I was doing, I noticed the theme of the two divides were […]

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