Marriage and Careers: Defining the Difference between Choice and Action.

14 Feb


I have been struggling for a long time with the question of how I will choose the right partner and or the right career.

Who will I marry? What future will I have? What career will I choose. Thinking that if I choose right, then I would have a happy life, but if I choose wrong, then my life will be horrible, and that put a lot of pressure on me to make the perfect choice.

However, there will never be a time where I do one thing, where I make one accomplishment and then the rest of my life will be happy from that moment on.

There will be many accomplishments in my life, there will be many mountains that I will climb, and new perspectives that will be revealed.

I got caught up in the fear of failure. Thinking that if I set out to accomplish something, and I don’t, this will show the weaknesses within myself. This will show that I am not disciplined, I don’t work hard enough, I am not enough. Thus, it was safer to not try, never fail, and continue thinking I will be something great… someday.

I got caught up in making the perfect choice, as if it was a choice that created the success and not the action I put into pursing that goal. When things started to get hard, I thought “This must not be the right thing for me, because I was succeeding and now I am not. I must have made the wrong choice.”

In order to be good at something, you have to accept that you will have stages of greatness and failure, acknowledge them both as great teachers. 

There is no way that I  can KNOW if I am making the right choice with marriage or a career. But there is a way to MAKE it the right choice. There is not ONE person for me, there is not ONE career for me.

I can make it work by choosing to have faith, to stay curious, to be resilient, be honest to myself and others, and be compassionate in all aspects of my life.

I look to live each day with gratitude that I am a perfectly flawed Monique, that I will continue to learn, grow, and love. That these three things will never end.

I allow myself to let go of thinking “once I have this, once I accomplish that, once I am with this person, then and only then will I be happy.”

I allow myself to take in the joy that is ever present in my daily life, to connect to the greatness that I am surrounded by.

I have confidence in the path that I am following, the path of wellness, community building, and planning events that create shared experiences. I aspire to live a life that enables myself and those around to know they deserve to be loved and to love.

“Simplicity is the ultimate expression of sophistication” Da Vinci

3 Responses to “Marriage and Careers: Defining the Difference between Choice and Action.”

  1. Mom February 17, 2014 at 4:25 am #

    You have written a lot of wise words here for such a young person. I can say “Amen” to every paragraph. It did take me a long time to appreciate the joy of each day, previous I was frequently looking to attain it in the next activity, the next weekend, the next summer, the next vacation, the next adventure. This feeling of enjoying today has been a long time in coming and I don’t know what I did to deserve it. – love you lots, Mom


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