Dear First Year Students

9 Sep

I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed seeing all of you last night.

I live close to the University of Toronto, surrounded by Frat Houses and late last night I got to witness some amazing things.

Here are a four of events I loved so much!

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1. Paint Party Man. I loved the guy that was walking down the street covered in different colours of paint. What party did you come from? Was that part of a Frat initiation? Do you need any help getting those colours out of your clothes? Was it planned or spontaneous? Was there even a paint party or were you just painting your room?

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2. Love Birds. The guy and girl couple walking down the street. How long will you stay together? Did you meet tonight? What conversations did you have that made you think, yeah, he is worth my time. Are you going to your place or his?

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3. Fancy Ladies. The girls dressed up coming from a Frat house. They all looked so lovely, and awkward at the same time. Trying to play it off like they always wear these clothes, even though a few parts of the outfit do not match, and they look just a bit uncomfortable.

Ladies, you all look beautiful, and trust me, it is a good thing you girls are going home together. Although those frat boys might seem so cool right now, you are saving yourself having to fake that you enjoyed it.

frat bros

4. Boyz to Men. The two guys walking together to the frat house, double-checking the address to make sure this was the right place, taking a deep breath before they went into to house. I could see them gathering up their strength so that they complete the mission in front of them- seem cool, and attract a lady.

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